There is candy, and then there's candy. Candy of the first type is
known by its peculiar odor (or peculiar lack thereof), untamed
sweetness, and general inducement of malaise. Candy of the second
type can be (and has been) characterized as "gently nauseating, mildly
perforating, with a hint of demise and a touch of inferno." It is
candy of the first type which people refer to when they say "as easy
as taking candy from a baby." It is candy of the second type which
causes local civil unrest.
Candy of either type can be further divided into "naked" and "clothed"
candy. Naked candy is flabbier, intuitive, compromising, momentary.
Clothed candy, while more foresighted and decisive, is nevertheless
flawed by a basic distrust in established institutions. Naked candy
goes better with bowling; clothed candy, with golf.
Licorice in particular has a rich and complex phenomenology. We
discern five types:
- licorice of ambition;
- licorice of aspersion;
- licorice of sunny days;
- licorice of automotive repair;
- licorice of unbridled skepticism.
Such a classification has immense practical value. For example,
readings of the I Ching are greatly enhanced and enriched by using
licorice (which may be seen as "five-dimensional" in this sense)
rather than yarrow sticks (in which at most two dimensions inhere:
length and structural integrity).