Obscure katas #21, the "Nar-Whal" kata, also known as the "three-toed
antiformant distressed expression and pole" kata because of its uses in
Begin in the chun-ki position.
- Assume a right fish stance and perform an inside triple-arm block
(unless you have fewer than three hands, in which case just wing
- Step forward into a left fish stance, extending the left leg a bit
farther than normal. Grab your right ear with your left hand
(keeping focus) and, exhaling slightly, consider the fact that
you, in particular, will eventually die.
- Step out into a hoarse stance, making sure your right foot lands
precisely in the center of an articulated antelope skeleton.
- Middle punch and kiai.
- About face and kiai.
- Three middle punches (with step) in succession.
- Do NOT think of Julie Andrews singing "Oh, what a beautiful morning"
- About face, knife block (diagonal echidna stance) and kiai.
- Advance. Concentrate on where you're tossing the bags. If this step
gives you difficulty, try juggling three instead of four.
- Swing 90 degrees to the right and execute a sun-also-rising block.
- Last step: roundhouse kick to a point exactly 3.93 inches to the left
of the solar plexus of an imaginary Mafia gangster right in front of
you. (If you like, you may imagine Cher or any other biodegradable
mustard-manufacturing byproduct.) The foot should come down in a
perfect throckpole stance.
Remain in the final position until ordered to relax by your sensei,
unless he has fallen asleep, in which case you may (if he/she is of
fifth degree or less) tiptoe up to him/her/it and kiai in his/her/hir/its
left ear. (Not the right ear, which is punishable by demotion to