All students must be instructed in usage of 
MEAT HAT which will improve brain functions
and physical well-being.  MEAT HAT is to be
placed on head and shaped to fit lobus.  To
engage MEAT HAT, broil entire assembly at a
temperature of 500 degrees for no less than
two hours.  After broiled both MEAT HAT and
student should be brown and crisp; MEAT HAT
may then be tuned for efficiency with given
probes, forks, basters, etc.  At end of day
MEAT HAT may be disengaged.  Store at below
zero temperature alongside student.