"No he's not here right now would you like to
Yes I understand it's very important but
Well you see he's dead I'm afraid.
Yes.
I'm sorry you had to find out like this I'm afraid I'm not very good.
I mean not very good at telling people about this sort of thing.
No that's all right.
Really you couldn't have known would you like to go out to dinner with me?
I'm sorry that must be kind of confusing coming right after my telling you.
About his death I mean.
Well it's just that since he died I've been kind of lonely.
Yes well I guess I just need time to get over it.
So do you have any pets?
I'm sorry this must be kind of weird is this too weird?
If it's too weird let me know and I'll stop.
Anyway you haven't answered my question do you have any pets?
Yes I have a cat but I don't want anyone else who does.
For example I might want affection from you some night and you'll be giving it to your pet instead.
Yes I realize it's kind of a double standard but I assure you
What?
Yes his body's right here I can see his face as we speak.
No not yet.
Anyway I was saying don't worry I wouldn't prioritize my cat over you.
That is if we were to I mean if events were to proceed in a fashion.
I mean towards a relationship.
This is too weird isn't it I should really stop.
I'm sorry I guess I just
What?
About um twenty minutes ago.
Yes I'm kind of a fast mover I guess.
Um well he died of um decidedly unnatural causes that is to say I killed him.
Yes I admit it it was me.
Um with a blunt instrument more precisely a lead pipe.
Yes right just like in Clue you won't tell anyone will you?
Thanks it'll be our little secret.
So anyway do you want to go to dinner with me tonight?
Say around seven?
Oh okay well then how about seven thirty?
Great it's a date then.
And maybe afterwards we could make love.
We could even do it with his body in the room does that excite you?
Well then perhaps not.
Okay see you at seven thirty.
Bye sweetheart."