You know, once upon a time there was a man who was completely normal, except that he had something inside of him, something that he wanted removed.

He went to a physician, who asked him to describe his problem. He said, "Well, I've got something inside me, something hard and irregular and jagged, something that pokes me everytime I move or don't move, and I want it removed." The physician ran a full body of tests on him, took X-rays, and did everything she could think of, but couldn't locate the source of the problem. She said, "Maybe you should see a metaphysician."

So he went to a metaphysician, who asked him to describe his problem. He said, "Well, I've got something inside me, something undefinable, unthinkable, and unknowable, something completely unnatural and unwanted, and I want it removed." The metaphysician performed several thought experiments, discussed it with his colleagues, and formed some tentative theories, but could come to no real conclusions. He suggested, "Perhaps you should see a psychoanalyst."

So he went to a psychoanalyst, who asked him to describe his problem. He said, "Well, I've got something inside me, something round and warm and wet, something smooth and clenching and oozing, and I want it removed." The psychoanalyst diagnosed it as a desire to be female, and suggested he have a sex-change operation. He agreed, but when she came out the something was still inside her. The psychoanalyst suggested she go to a Buddhist master.

So she went to a Buddhist master, who nodded. She said, "Holy one, I have something inside me, something Nameless, something Chaotic, something of constantly shifting Form that shifts me with itself, something Impure and Imprecise, and I would like to expunge it from myself." The master answered, "Do not expunge it; rather accept it and become one with it." But she did not want to accept it and become one with it. So the master said, "If you do not wish to follow my advice, then perhaps you should see an auto mechanic."

So she went to an auto mechanic, who asked her to describe her problem. She said, "Well, I've got something inside of me, and it knocks and pings and gives me a rough ride, knocks me out of alignment, grinds me and wears me down, and I want it removed." So the mechanic reached into her and removed it, and for the rest of her life she was utterly normal.