record 2
SPEAKER OF THE BRILLIANT DAWN
Next order of business.
YOUNGER ORCHID
Speaker, the people are concerned with the growing length of the standard alphabet. It currently stretches 124.3 miles from A to Z, as set by the National Bureau. We project that inflation will increase its length to 139.6 miles within five years.
THIRD SCHEMER
Our analysis indicates that the increasing length of the alphabet is due primarily to the expansion of F, which appears to be something of a singularity. Though it is only a few inches longer than L, it is expanding much faster.
ELDER TULIP
Could we simply remove F altogether?
THIRD SCHEMER
That would be drastic in the short term, and in the long term would not address the inevitable expansion of the rest of the alphabet. Our proposal is to "give in", in a mathematical sense, and view the alphabet from the outset as an essentially infinite object.
SPEAKER OF THE BRILLIANT DAWN
Surely the alphabet could never reach infinite length.
THIRD SCHEMER
In our reconceptualization, the alphabet retains finite length, but becomes infinitely subdivided. It is a continuum, rather than a collection of discrete letters. Words will now be composed of real numbers in the interval [0.0, 26.0). It is our hope that this schematization will hold the expansion of F and other letters in check.
DESICCATED CORPSE OF THE EMPEROR
How will words be engineered under your system?
THIRD SCHEMER
Engineering will continue as usual. Morphemes will simply be built out of numalphabetic material. The new scheme has the advantage that morphemic structure can be reinforced by irrationals, thus increasing ambiguity and vagueness without sacrificing semiotic effect. Pantaloon?
PANTALOON
Thank you. In our study of the effect this change would have on the literary arts, we have found that songs are greatly enhanced by numalphabetic lyrics. Librettos, in particular, can be written using fluctuating numletters that resonate with the natural vibrato of the operatic style.

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