entranced entrance to enlightenment in three easy steps

1. "Lather"

Inhale deeply the edible moments of your life, moments that are small, white, round and hard, like tapioca balls. Inhale deeply the tapioca balls of your life. Soon you will feel as if you are floating on a sea of remorse, swimming through a sea of comfort, backstroking through a sea of flowery soporificity, etc., progressing through levels of increasingly inappropriate metaphor until you are dog-paddling in a sea of mucus. It is very thick, but even if you go under, you will not drown, partly because of your superior willpower and stage of enlightenment, but mostly because you have inhaled deeply the tapioca balls of your life.

2. "Rinse"

What I am trying to convey to you is a sense of the mystical wonder of the nature which we have created--not because we are creators (far from it! we are a race of destroyers!), but because, through the fact that it was created by Another, we have also created it, in a sort of consensual brainstorming session in which we sit around on deck chairs with the Supreme Being kicking back a few cases of Miller Lite. Suddenly, an idea pounces on you: "Let us create an atmosphere of general happiness and well-being by improving the market for new ethnic restaurants, thus increasing the supply of tandoori and satay for all." This is how we participate in the decision-making process with the Big CEO in the Sky.

3. "Repeat"

The object of this exercise is to celebrate your individual diversity. Get up from your chair, breathe deeply, walk straight out your front door without locking it, and wander directly into the path of a large oncoming truck. At the moment you are hit, observe (as objectively as possible) the amazing variety of bodily organs and fluids that your body possesses. Consider your navel, your pineal gland, and of course your spleen. Then let all of it fall apart, much as if you were hit by a large oncoming truck.

© 1997-2001 Narciso Jaramillo absurdities | dyslexikon | nj's face